The Way I See It

by Pastor Alonzo B. Patterson

   Webster defines dysfunctionality as an abnormal or impaired functioning; in other words, that which operates different from what is its normal nature. The nature of family as the Bible describes God's purpose/design is to function within the natural and spiritual laws of God. The normal values for the family then, is for the group to love God and family—to share, protect, exercise patience, care for one another and to pray for each other. It is normal for the family to worship and pray together—these are called values that grow out of God's designed purpose for the family, hence, they are natural functions in every dimension of the multifaceted family structure; to include the primary family—who lives under one roof for the most part, the secondary family, extended family, and the spiritual or Christian family. When the core or primary family ceases to live within the natural value of the Word of God, it begins to deteriorate into a state of impaired abnormality or dysfunctionality. The contemporary family must continue to walk and function within the Word of God if it is to remain a normal family as God has created it.

   This past month has been a month of themes on the Word of God and on the powerful process of generous giving to the work of God. As we complete this month, God is pleased that we would focus on the family and its foundation in kingdom relationships. What kind of family do you have? What kind of relationship characterizes your family? What level of faith do you practice in your family? Is the church a priority in your family? Is Christ the centerpiece in your family relationships? Is worship important to you and your family?

The Bible tells us that God's Word can make a lasting impression on your family. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, God gave Moses laws to live by and instructions for each family in Israel; to love God with all their heart, soul and strength. God then gave Moses all kinds of practical ways to teach children His Word. We should tell our family how powerful and important God's Word is. It will be a wonderful way to help them develop lifelong relationships with God. Deuteronomy demonstrates for each household of Shiloh how to share God's Word with your family—it will prevent you from having a "David problem" later in life.

   David's family was in absolute turmoil. One of David's sons, Absalom, revolted against David's kingdom. When David's soldiers returned from a battle against his son, the king's first concern was to see if Absalom was safe. Though Absalom had rebelled, David still wanted to mend the broken relationship. Absalom's death was a tragic consequence of not dealing with his family's earlier conflicts (2 Samuel 13).

   The Way I See It… It's important to learn appropriate ways to handle family conflict. Dealing with trouble openly and honestly is the only way to avoid tragedies like David's. Many of the homes of Shiloh will be in that same kind of conflict if we continue to avoid the absolute necessity of God's Word in our homes.

   I recently officiated the funeral of a young 18-year-old man living at the edge of life; too often this is the end result of family failure in Godly relationships. Shiloh, The Way I See It… God has called us to model family life for this generation. We must pray for our families, develop strong relationships and sound family values. The Way I See It… We must model God's love through our caring. How we care for family members has a lot to say about our faith in God. An important reminder for us is to always care for our relatives. Showing care is a practical way to love them and demonstrate our faith in Christ.

  If someone asks members of Shiloh how we treat our families, how we show our love for one another, what do you think they'd say? How we treat our family often measures the authenticity of our faith in Christ. What impression of God do your family members have because of you? Of course you will make mistakes. But you can accomplish a great deal if you take your responsibilities seriously. Some of you probably haven't had children yet, but your parents have had at least one… you! The Bible says that children are a reward from the Lord, and when you have children someday, you'll appreciate this reward. Children are one of life's only lasting rewards, a heritage that continues through the generations to come. Psalm 127 says that your parents have actually been rewarded by having you! May I remind each of our parents that they've received a gift from the Lord which is to be developed in Sunday School and Bible Study.

Children In Non God-Centered Homes (Ezekiel 18:14-18)

   This scripture reminds us that living in a family with parents who aren't believers can be a constant source of tension. How do you tell your parents they need God? What should you do when you don't approve of their decisions and lifestyles? These are the same kinds of questions that God asked Ezekiel. God wanted Ezekiel to know that he understood the tension of people trying to live God-pleasing lives in ungodly homes. What kinds of questions do you have for God about your family? The Way I See It… One Christ-centered Christian can greatly affect a dysfunctional home when love is the norm for living. When you are in a family and you are the only active Christian, just know that you are part of a larger family, the family of God. How big is God's family? Jesus pointed out in Matthew 12:46-50 that his family includes everyone who pleases God. If no other family members are Christians, it can be comforting to know that you are part of the larger family of Shiloh, and of God; because of your friendship with Jesus Christ, not only are you a son or daughter of God, you also have Christian brothers and sisters to support you. In turn, you can be a support to others who need a close brother or sister. This includes your family. However, as children and young people of Shiloh, can you imagine what your parents may be going through because of life's circumstances? Be patient while God works out a dysfunctional circumstance. Think about how Mary felt standing at the foot of her son's cross. Seeing Jesus in pain, agony and humiliation must have devastated her. So love and respect your parents in spite of what the differences may be. Jesus knew that his mother would need special care and attention in the days to come. How do you feel when you see family members in pain? Sometimes because you are dysfunctional as young men and women. What can you do to comfort and ease their pain? Read John 19:25-27. Suggest some practical answers. Once we have conquered our own failures, then we can help others to know Christ and have a functional family.

Shiloh: How Do You Invite Others to Church,
to Know Christ? (Acts 10:23-48)

   Sharing Jesus Christ with your family and close friends is one of the most important gifts you could ever give to them. In this scripture, Cornelius was a Roman centurion who wanted his family to know Christ like he did. He was so excited to talk about Christ with them that he invited Peter to come to his house to talk about the gospel. Cornelius is a good role model for us to follow. As members of a functional or dysfunctional family, who are you praying for in your family? As your Pastor, I pray that the Acts account of Cornelius' family will help you to see how he wanted his family and close friends to know Christ. I pray that you will pursue a life of functionality in the body of Christ, in your primary family, and in your personal walk with God as you study His Word. And, that's The Way I See It...

The Problems Within
the Modern Dysfunctional
Christian Family

Back to June 2003
"The Way I See It"

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and
all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33